Posted by: Mer Pints | November 10, 2009

Hey, Your Vagina is Bigger Than Your Mouth

After six long years of living in America teacher Lucing finally became a US Citizen. Thanks to Mr. Black who fell in love with her the first time they met in a Filipino Community Center in Seattle. They never had a child that’s why Mr. Black planned to divorce her so he could marry a much younger Filipina (probably a virgin) whom he met recently in Las Vegas. Anyway that does not affect even a little teacher Lucing (a former public school teacher) as there’s nothing she could be proud of to her ex-husband except his very big penis. But not even this one made teacher Lucing happy for being with him the past six years. In fact she wants it deleted in her memories.

Why, she had much of it already. She could no longer endure even a minute allowing her ex-husband penis to land on her vagina (which she always complained warak na warak). What a painful way to get a green card and later on becomes a US Citizen? That’s why teacher Lucing was so enthusiastic about coming home for a long vacation; first to have a vaginal repair so she can be like a virgin again. After that she wanted to meet Mr. Camacho, her former boyfriend for 10 years, and scout the possibility of reconciling with him after she left him to fulfill her American dream.

Mr. Camacho is still an able bachelor about sixty years old, but can still brag about erection, and also planning to retire from teaching in order to run as a councilor in his hometown.

Actually Mr. Camacho still loves teacher Lucing. He had been praying for long that her husband (Blackie) would die/divorce her so that she could come back to his arms again. O gracious heaven, how he longs for those tiny but nimble fingers of teacher Lucing playing with his testicles. Yes, only teacher Lucing has those sensual lips and tongue that could make his small but terrible penis look like one sweet and expensive lollipop.

As teacher Lucing emerged from the NAIAS exit, Mr. Camacho could not hide his joy and excitement. He could not believe it, it’s still the same pretty and sexy Lucing whom he met at the airport. As they met they tightly embraced and kissed each other as though they’re going down the bed for a 6 A.M. sex.

“Together again,” that’s there theme song in high school. Even when they became teachers, still they love to sing the same song in many of the gatherings they were asked to render a duet. Unfortunately, though they seem to be sweet and truly in love to each other, they had never been that ideal couple. They always quarreled anywhere they were. They didn’t care if there were teachers or students listening or watching them. At the height of their anger they could utter the dirtiest words against each other.

By the way it’s Mr. Camacho’s statement against teacher Lucing which triggered her interest to abandon him and go to America. They had a heated verbal engagement once over a lost Seiko watch which was Mr. Camacho’s gave to teacher Lucing as a Christmas gift. They could have been married that year should Mr. Camacho did not say this to teacher Lucing: “Your vagina is bigger than your mouth!” Similarly teacher Lucing should have been Mrs. Camacho now (not one Mrs. Black) had she not said out of anger to him, “your penis is as small as your brain.”

And now that they have reconciled they promised to each other not to quarrel in public and say dirty words against each other. Actually even if they quarreled before it didn’t take a day they’re okay again. That’s how much they love each other minus their pride.

“So, what’s your plan now Em (short for Emmanuel)?

“Me, I’m now retiring and leave teaching for politics.”

“Are you crazy?”

“No, I’m not. I’m running for councilor in my hometown.”Teacher Lucing laughed so hard. “You shared all your dreams to me except your plan to enter politics.”

“Lucing, I just thought of it only when you left me and married another Mr. Black.”

“Oh yes, for seven years you’ve probably shrank your brain to the proportion of your penis,” teacher Lucing whispered him.

“What? Here we are again. Don’t tell me your vagina has swollen larger than your mouth?” Mr. Camacho complained.

Teacher Lucing laughed so hard to the extent of coughing, Mr. Camacho soon was laughing too with her.

Teacher Lucing quickly brought out a signed check from her bag.

“Take it and write any amount you think is more than enough to win as a councilor. I’m supporting you.”

“Thank you…”

“Thank you lang? No way, you have to marry me.”

“Bakit makipot na ba si bebeng (is your vagina already tight?)

“Gago, naghanap ka pa (what’s the use idiot).

Mr. Camacho suddenly grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and to her breasts.

As teacher Lucing grabbed his erected penis Mr. Camacho whispered her, “Lucing, will you marry me?”

“Yes Em, with all of my heart and money.” This time her nimble fingers began playing again with his testicles as it used to be.

“Ay, basag na! (Oh no, they’re already broken)

Laughter, laughter, laughter.


Responses

  1. Tigil muna sa politics. Humor naman, hehehe.

  2. Tsk. tsk. tsk.

    Balik na naman sa dati.

    Pero, teka. Alin daw ba ‘yung nabasag? Bakit daw?

    Mer, ha? Pilya ka talaga.

  3. Baka naman basa na?

    Dahil naligwak ang hawak na sopdrink at tumapon sa harapan ng pantalon ni konsehal.

  4. Best prend dumali ka na naman.

    Baka bugok na itlog iyong nabasag kuya Mags, ay!

  5. Pero excited siempre ako dito sa plano ni teacher Lucing na magparetoke, este magpakipot, teka magpavirgin uli… Hmmm ano ba talaga ha Mer?

    Hula ko na lang Babes, pagbabalik ng napunit na hymen na sanhi ng pagkadonsilya, ng Negro o Pilipino? Hahahaha!

  6. Last na lang po, hindi baleng panakip butas ka na lang Mr. Camacho basta may funding support ka kay teacher Lucing sa iyong pagkandidato bilang konsehal ng iyong bayan.

    Request lang sir, kapag nanalo ka na huwag mo namang ipagpalit si teacher Lucing sa mga batam-batang dalaga. Alam mo naman na nag-iisa lang ang teacher Lucing na may MALAWAK nang karanasan sa kanyang ARING buhay.

    Hahahaha!

  7. Pareng Mags hindi kaya naiinggit itong dalawang prinsesa na nakaupo sa tasa.

    Aba, aring buhay na nina konsehal at maestra Lucing ang nakataya dito.

    Ano mga ineng kailan naman kayo makakahawak ng nakatayong katotohanan? Hahaha!

  8. May kuwento akong related dito, iyong binatang nagpakasal sa matandang byuda. Kapag gustong makipagromansa si lola kay guwaping ay kailangan pa nitong maglabas ng apat na tig-iisang libo upang takpan ang kanyang mukha habang pinapaligaya siya ng mister niyang guwaping. Inspirado naman ang guwaping dahil ang apat na libong nakatapal sa mukha ni lola ay kaya niyang linlangin ang kanyang sarili na ang kanyang kasiping ay isang magandang sexy star hindi ang lolang mukhang bakulaw na naa-agnas na ang mukha. Heheh

  9. Kap,
    Tangahanga, I mean tagahanga ka pala ni Mama Dede, este Mama D.

    Congratulations, you’ve found your star, hehehe.

  10. Tito Mags,
    Ano kaya kung sa susunod na pelikula ni mama D. ay sina Kap, tito Cocoy, at tito Joe ang makakatambal at ikaw naman ang direktor. May kissing scene ka bang binabalak para sa tatlong leading men niya, hahahaha!

  11. Kapitan kidlat how are your sir?

    This post about the vagina which is long ang very very wide is your story about the teachers who finally become together at the last time in their past to the present relationship isn’t it?

    Yes, now this is I can say. No matter what is happned to you in the past for as long as you have money I just don’t care because your money can cover everything about the past tense of your life.

    Very good Mr. Camacho and very practical he is of the life in situation.

  12. Mer,

    Tengkyu! Binigyan mo ako ng bagong tarbaho. Teka sino ba ang prodyuser?

    Kissing scene ba ‘ika mo? Alam mo’y matagal ko ng pangarap ang magdirek ng pelikula, hindi nga lang ako binibigyan ng pagkakataon ng mga prodyuser na ‘yan. Mga ‘alang elibs sa aking taleng.

    So ganito ang mangyayari sa pelikula: Bawat isa sa tatlong liding men ni Momma D ay magkakaroon ng betsin, este bed scene ka kanya. ‘Yung very erotik na lab meyking.

    Bago putulan ang tatlong liding men, este bago guntingin ng sensor, uunahan ko na ng klasipikeysiyon na R-65. ‘Yung mga ober di eyds lang puwedeng manood.

    Saka hihilingin ko ring libre ang night vision gogels dahil panay gabi at madidilim ang eksena.

    Baka kasi alibadbaran ang mga manonood kapag may klos ap ‘yung mga laylay na bilbil ng babaeng bida.

  13. Baka kasi ang lumabas ay rumoromansa ng babaeng pabo ‘yung tatlo.

    He he he heeeeh!

  14. Hahahaha

    Parang sinabi mong para sa ating mga young once iyan pareng Mags.

    Kayo Mer at Seg darating din kayo sa panahon na mangungulubot ang byuti ninyo kaya huwag na huwag ninyo kaming hamakin at hindi pa kami laos.

  15. I clik your music and I am happy about the video of the model.

    You know madams Mer and Seg, I am nearing 70 and music with sexy models ay it will make my tuhod very very strong.

    My misis kasi ayaw nang labing-labing. I have to buy special lubrication to make her flower madulas, ay buking me.

  16. Kaps,

    What I saying is R-65.

    Wala pa ako doon.

    I am just half with my golden years.

    He he he heeeh!

  17. Life begins at 60 na daw kuya, hehehe.

  18. My life has beginnin na. My wife has orgasm last night after I romancing her. Who sino ba ang nagsasabi no more sex at sixty six?


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