Posted by: Mer Pints | October 24, 2008

Issues and Entertainment (The Game of the Generals)

The News/Issues: The PNP Contingency Fund Scandal, the Game of the Generals?

 

The Philippine National Police violated government rules in sending the so called “Euro-Generals” to Russia as Philippine delegates to the 77 Interpol General Assembly in St. Petersburg according to the senators who attended the hearing yesterday.

Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago pointed out yesterday’s hearing that the trip violated Administrative Order 103 calling for “continued adoption of austerity measures in government,” and the suspension of all foreign travels unless it is a “ministerial meetings” and “scholarships or training that are grant-funded or undertaken at no cost to the government.” And the second violation was cited by Senator Mar Roxas  based on the 2008 General Appropriations Act which mandates government agencies “to defray foreign travel of any government official including uniformed personnel of the DILG and the DND. No official will be sent to foreign training, conference, or attend to international commitments when they are due to retire within one year after the said foreign travel.”

But according to Secretary Puno of the Department of Interior and Local Government,  the Interpol conference was an important gathering. “Even other contingencies found it important enough to send delegation. We interact with them in terms of transnational crimes. It’s a very important meeting.” 

But Retired General Eliseo dela Paz snubbed yesterday’s Senate hearing because the Senate committee which issued the subpoena had “no jurisdiction to conduct any legislative inquiry on the subject.” This angered the Solons particularly Senator Santiago who ordered him arrested for contempt earlier. Meanwhile the arrest warrant is held in abeyance pending the vote of majority of its members.

Why was dela Paz appearance in the Senate  so important in yesterday’s investigation? It was him who brought out  from the country without declaring it at the airport USD$150,000.00 for a 6 day stay as emergency allowance or contingency fund for the PNP delegates who attended the Interpol conference in Russia. He was later apprehended by the Russians customs officials for failing to declare  105  euros at the Moscow airport.

But no matter how dela Paz and the PNP officials defended the reason for carrying contingency fund, Department of Budget and Management Secretary Rolando Andaya said there is not such a thing as “contingency fund” in the PNP budget.

People who are now monitoring development on the issue are consider it unthinkable to give and 8-man delegation an allowance of USD 150,000 for a six day stay in Russia. Not even the top ten listed corporations in this country could  afford to give that amount as a contingency fund for their delegates. That’s why  Senator Santiago said that this is the highest daily per diem ( P47,166) ever given to a delegate. The highest the United Nations can give to its delegate is P11,000 per day only. Hindi kaya kayo lugi diyan, hehehe.

 

For your Entertainment Only : Ang Beauty Parlor ni General Problema

 

Nang mag-retire si General Problema sa serbisyo ay nag-isip siyang magtayo ng maliit na negosyo para hindi maubos kaagad ang kanyang pinaghirapan lalo pa iyong regalo sa kanya ni ma’am. Kanyang kinausap ang isang business consultant upang magpayo sa kanyang binabalak na negosyo. Sa dinami-dami nilang napagusapan na negosyong papasukin ay isang beauty parlor ang itinayo ni General sa kanilang Village.

Kontra nong sa una si Mrs. Problema pero nang abutan siya ng 20,000 pesos na kinita ni General Problema sa isang araw ay hindi na nagsalita pa ang mukhang pera angel na misis. Lalo pang pina-ganda ni General ang kanyang pagseserbisyo. Lahat ay puweding pumunta sa kanyang parlor kahit mga katulong pa basta may pera. Dahil puno laging ang parlor, pati si General na ay nagma- manicure at nagpe pedicure na rin. Enjoy na enjoy si General sa kanyang ginagawa kahit pinaghihinalaan na siyang bakla. Ang mahalaga ay kumikita na siya ngayon ng marangal.

Isang araw ay nagdagdag si general ng isang kuwarto sa kanyang parlor, espesyal ang pagkagawa at may kama pa. Para daw iyan sa mga VIP na customers niya. Siya lang ang gumagamit nito dahil siya lang ang nakakaalam sa mga espesyal na aparato na ginagamit. Madalas ditong mag-paservice sa kanya ang isang magandang biyuda at the age of 40. Sexy ang biyuda, malulusog ang kanyang mga suso, at wow legs pa ang masuwerting nilalang. “Ayaw niyang nakikita siya ng iba baka mainggit pa sila,” ang laging sinasabi ni General sa kanyang mga kasamang beauticians.

Isang araw ay naisipan naman ni Mrs. General problem ang magpaservice sa kanyang asawang General-turned beautician, biglang nagpunta si bruha misis sa Parlor. Hinanap niya si General sa mga beauticians kaya napilitan silang sabihin na may inaasikaso siyang customer. Isang napakaganda at mukhang artistang biyuda. Kinabahan si misis kaya bigla itong pumasok sa special room ni General. Hindi nakasara ito kaya tuloy-tuloy na siya sa loob. Laking kabiglaan niya nang nakita niyang hubad si General at nakapatong pa ang seksing biyuda sa kanya at naka-beautiful eyes pa habang naglalaro siya ng horsie-horsie. Sa tindi ng galit ni madam ay napulot niya ang pantalon ni General at ihinampas sa kanilang dalawa. Bumalikwas naman sa pagkabigla si General at tumakbong papalabas sa kuwarto na hubad-na-hubad  with his foot-long equipment dangling at kumakalembang ng parang kampana ng simbahan.

Sa kahihiyang tinamo, hindi na ipinagpatuloy pa ni General ang parlor, barberya na lang, hehehe.    

 


Responses

  1. Magandang pagkakakitaan pala ito. General nagma-manicure at nagpe-pedicure. Nice Mer, kabuhayang kumikita. May pera ka na, may pumapatong pa sa iyo, hahahayyyy.

  2. What’s the generals game, tong collection? Senator Pimentel said, the contingency fund may have come from jueteng money.

  3. I like your kuwento about a manikyoristang heneral. Kumikita na may pumapatong pa, heheh. See teacher Lupita slowly seducing Nelson. http://segundina.wordpress.com

  4. Sabi ni Erap hand pinapatawad na niya si Chavit. Ang sabi naman ni Chavit handa rin daw niyang patawarin si Erap pero hindi siya segurado sa sinseridad ng dating pangulo. A lesson of forgiveness ika nga. Pero mapapatawad ba ng Senado ang mga Euro Generals na nag-violate ng mga batas tungkol sa pag-punta ng mga tauhan ng gobierno sa ibang bansa? Magpaliwanagan tayo: http://bobonyo.wordpress.com

  5. Ang mga Pulis ay matutulis talaga iyan at walang kupas.

  6. Korek ka diyan kumander. Hayaan mo ilalantad natin lahat dito ang kanilang katulisan, hehehe

  7. Mer,
    Nagalit sa iyo si General Parlor, aat nag-file ng kaso laban sa iyong pamboboso sa kanya habang tumatakbo siyang nakahubad. Pasyal ka sa Barangay Hall para madining ang iyong panig. http://kidlatanvillage.wordpress.com

  8. Tanong: Ano ang tawag sa mga pulis heneral na pumunta sa Russia na kung saan, nasangkot si Gen. dela Paz na may dalang euros na sobra-sobra?
    Sagot: Eh di, Euro generals!

    Tanong: Ano na ang bansag sa senadora na kumalampag at namuno sa Senate investigation sa mga euro generals?

    Sagot: Eh di, Neuro senator!

  9. Nagiging neurotic na rin ang sumusubaybay dito sa kaso ng mga euro generals. Lumalabas sa kabi-kabilang pamamaraan ng pagtatakip o depensa kung bakit may dalang ganun karaming pera at anong klaseng pondo, lalong nagiging masalimuot dahil may iba’t ibang version na lumabas.

    1. Contingency Fund
    2. Cash Advance for emergency purpose
    3. Cash advance pambili ng armas
    4. Padala ng mga kaibigan pambili ng pasalubong
    5. Pabaon ng mga lords (jueteng lords, drug lords at Malacanang lords)

  10. Tama ang sinabi sa isang artikulo na ating natunghayan. Kung sinasabi raw ng pamahalaan na everyting is computerized na when it comes to accounting, auditing, etc., at lahat na heads holding financial matters in government are well versed na tungkol sa financial transactions here and abroad, bakit kailangang magdala ng cold cash ang isa pa namang comptroller over and above their allowable per diems?

    Kaya itong pangyayari sa mga euro generals sa Russia, lumalabas na ang government financial practices are stuck in the Stone Age when money and had to be transported physically.

    For all we know, may ATM din naman sa Russia. At kung gagamitin sa health emergencies, bakit hindi sila kumuha ng health insurance for the duration of their travel? Daming tanong, no?

  11. Back to the Stone Age: Cash and Carry

    In spite of claims to modernization and globalization, it appears that the government is still in the Stone Age. We laugh at peasants who hide money under their beds or in holes in their posts. We are amused with stories about money being carried about in chests during wars in ancient times. And here we have the highest financial management official in the PNP lugging over a hundred thousand euros in the year 2008!

  12. Remember when Gen. dela Paz held a press conference upon his arrival and apologize for his lapse of judgment and the embarassment the P6.9 million he carried in euros caused? While maintaining that the money come from PNP coffers, buong pagkumbaba pa nyang sinabi that he had served “faithfully and honestly” in the PNP.

    No doubt about it. Even Judas Escariot used to be a faithful apostle of Jesus Christ, yet he forgot his closeness with the Son of God and sold Him for 30 pieces of gold to the enemy. Judas hanged himself after he realized the gravity of his crime to mankind.

    Gen. dela Paz certainly will not do the same. Palaban siya. He even questioned the jurisdiction of the Senate in investigating him that’s why he snubbed the hearing kaya ayun, pinaaresto siya. At the moment, he is still not arrested because the signatory to his warrant of arrest, Sen. President Manny Villar is also in Russia at kasama rin ang kanyang wife! Ano kaya, imbestigahan din ito ni Sen. Miriam?

  13. ggrrrr.. i hate the stories about dela paz!!!he is so stupid…gggrrr fuck that police…KURAKOT!!

  14. Manong Joe,
    Ngayon ay kakasuhan na iyong mga apat na senior police officers sa pagsasabwatan para makapaglabas malaking halaga at nang may magagastos iyong mga Euro Generals. May nag-tip sa akin, tip lang naman (it might not be true), na kaya daw hindi nagalaw iyong pera ay nag-alangang tanggapin ng mga ibang Euro Generals. Kaya walang nagawa is dela Paz kundi bitbitin pauwi.
    I love this song when I was a little chil about the pansit and a policeman.

    May pulis sa ilalim ng tulay
    May pulis sa ilalim na tulay
    May pulis, may pulis, may pulis, may pulis
    Mas pulis sa ilalim ng tulay.

    May bitbit na pansit ang pulis
    Sa ilalim ng tulay
    May bitbit na pansit ang pulis sa ilalim ng tulay
    May bitbit na pansit, may bitbit na pansit, may
    Bitbit na pansit ang pulis sa ilalim ng tulay.

    Let’s add another stanza (circa 2008)

    May bitbit na Euros ang pulis sa Moscow
    May bitbit na Euros ang pulis sa Moscow
    May bitbit na over hundreed thousand Euros
    Ang pulis sa Moscow, may bitbit na Euros
    Ang police general sa Moscow.
    (you know the entire story bahala na kayong magdagdag, hehehe)

    To Banong and the rest of fantasy loving Filipinos, here is a story that makes your imagination works twice the speed of the lightning, hehehe. http://segundina.wordpress.com

  15. Princess,
    Stupid yes, I agree with you Princess. But somebody must have ordered him to right? Who ordered him must be as liable as dela Paz.

    Colegiala, the Generals ay playing basketball here, pasahan ng sisi. Kung sino ang nahuli ng referee iyon ang mga foul.

    Talagang nakakainis Princess.

  16. Segundina,
    May pulis sa ilalim ng tulay, nahuli ni misis iyong pulis na may bitbit na pansit sa ilalim ng tulay, hindi pala para sa kanya iyong pansit kundi sa kanyang number two kaya pinukpok ni misis iyong pulis ng kanyang bakya sa ilalim ng tulay, hehehehe. Napaihi ako sa katatawa ng “pulis mo sa ilalim ng tulay”, hahahahahahah.

  17. Sorry Kap and Kumander pipi,
    Joc-joc Bolante is not coming home yet. He is still with the US immigration and customs officials. http://secondlady.wordpress.com

  18. Tito Joe,
    Ayus iyong joke mo tungkol sa Neuro Senator, hehehe. Mahirap po pala ang pagiging makakalimutin lalo na kung pera na ang pinaguusapan. Sa iba kasi sila nananalanging, sa Jueteng Lord kaya walang perang nakalagay sa ATM.
    At saka style palasyo itong style nila, binibitbit lang ang pera na nasa loob ng paper bag, hehehe.

  19. UPDATE from abs-cbn.NEWS.com: Joc-joc Bolante is on Northwest Airllines flight 71 to Nagoya, Japan en route to Manila according to Alfonso Cusi’s, Manager of the Ninoy Aquino International Airport . He said at ANC, “The info we had is Jocjoc Bolante is on board Northwest 71, that’s coming from [a] source which I can’t name, it’s confirmed that he is on board Northwest 71.”

    “We’re making arrangements… he has to follow normal process for arriving passenger, except that of course, he being a deportee, he has to undergo certain processing, turnover from [US] marshal escorting him to our officers here in immigration,” the airport chief said. http://secondlady.wordpress.com

  20. May pulis may pulis sa ilalim ng tulay…

    My story is true not fiction. It goes…
    Ang tiyahin ko na teacher ay nagsumbong sa nanay ng aking pinsan dahil kung anu-ano raw ang sinasabi sa klase e grade one pa lang.

    The teacher posed a question to the pupils: ano ang trabaho o ginagawa ng mga pulis?

    Ang gaganda ng sagot ng mga bata: humuhuli ng magnanakaw; nagpapatrulya sa barangay;lumalaban sa en pee eey, etc.

    Nang dumating sa pinsan ko ay kampante at malakas ang boses na ang sagot: “Ang pulis po ay nagbuburat”!

    Like it ot not ay totoo ang perception ng aking pinsan sa gawain ng mga pulis ngayon.

  21. kumander,

    Your comment triggered my story. Matutulis at walang kupas na mga pulis!

  22. Ay totoo pong matutulis ang mga pulis. Noong araw iyong helper namin ay niligawan ng pulis. Aba mas mamahalin pa ang kanyang alahas sa nanay ko. Hindi po nagtagal iyong helper namin sumama sa pulis. Kaso natanggal iyong pulis dahil nakagawa ng krimen kaya balik sa paglalabada iyong helper para buhayin ang iniwang ala-ala ng kanilang pagmamahalan.

  23. Para sa mga sumusubaybay sa aking kuwento tungkol kay teacher Lupita at Nelson, ngayon na po ang katapusan, nagpakasal iyong dalawa at naging teacher din si Nelson. http://segundina.wordpress.com

  24. Salamat uli tita chi for your comment. Nakakatawa talagan isipin ang pulis na nagtatago sa ilalim ng tulay para mambiktima ng mga jeepney at taxi drivers. Pagkatapos may bitbit pa siyang pansit habang kinukuha iyong lisensiya ng driver, hehehe. Kunan kaya natin ng picture at iposte sa blog, hehehe.

  25. Manay Chi, Colegiala, Second Lady, Segundina at may bago pala tayo ritong chick, si Princess

    Matulis talaga ang pulis. Kamuntik na akong maging pulis hindi lang natuloy dahil kinontra ng uncle ko na maghu-jueteng. Para ko raw niyang kinalaban. Sayang, sana naging matulis din ako. Anyway, ngayon lang ako nakabalik dito kaya ngayon ko lang nabasa itong post ni Second Lady tungkol sa pulis under Jones bridge. Ito ang youtube:


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