Kimuchi as the First Lady of the Philippines (Orgasm, it’s all for orgasm gentlemen…)

She was a former Japayuki married to a charismatic political genius who in turn became the President of the Philippines. She is not however the only wife since Mr. President is a convert to Islam and now a practicing Muslim.

 

This made Mr. President a popular and well loved man in the Philippine society because he was able to bring Christians and Muslims together into a unified and productive co-existence. Nobody ever thought this could be possible. But there is that lasting peace now in Mindanao as a proof, no Philippine territory was compromised, the form of government is still presidential, and the country has never been this progressive before.

 

Thanks for being a no-nonsense president, sincere and respectable; he was so well loved by his people.

 

While she remained a Christian the high society matrons, religious people, businessmen and professionals are wondering what the president had eaten for her to be selected among his highly educated and well bred wives to be the country’s first lady. Perhaps Mr. President has his own reasons which only the depth of his wisdom could fathom. But the ordinary man on the street knows it by heart; Kimuchi is a loving down-to-earth person without pretense. She sets a good example of simplicity and frugality in life being an Ilocana. She wears locally manufactured shoes, jewelries made out of sea shells and inexpensive metals. Her favorite necklace is made out of ipil-ipil seeds. She has the largest rosary in the country made out of avocado seeds.

 

When Mr. President admonished the people to economize, Kimuchi showed it to the people how. Instead of wearing an expensive gown designed and sewn by famous couturiers of the land, she wears a miniskirt out of recycled gowns purchased from the ukay-ukay. Not to compromise the dignity of her husband being the most powerful person in the country, she wears a pair of long socks that covers her seductive legs. Her fashion statement shocked the whole world but soon teenagers adopted it, the entertainment world found it awesome and fashionable, and not to be outdone wives of world famous leaders started wearing mini-skits with matching basketball socks in state dinners.

 

Soon Kimuchi became famous around the world in the same manner that the former first lady who captivated the whole world by her charisma and wearing of elegant gowns and expensive jewelries. The only difference, this first lady is a world’s symbol of simplicity in beauty—contented with recycled gowns, fancy jewelries, and second hand cellular phones. Instead of going to theatres and partying in luxury hotels, she spent most of her time in tree planting, helping build habitat for humanity, visiting people affected with aids, etc.

 

If she was not traveling abroad, for diplomatic missions, she went around the country visiting farmers, former NPAs, former Muslim rebels, farmers, fisherfolks, and even dine with rice and sardines with the Lumads and upland people. Newsmen here and abroad loved to cover her social engagements for their magazines and newspapers.

 

World leaders and diplomats also love to join her in long social conversations. They love to hear her say: “orgasm, it’s orgasm gentlemen.” And they always roared in laughter and amusement. Soon Mr. President started sending her to difficult diplomatic missions abroad and come home usually with positive results. So, came the famous household line, “what Kimuchi wants, Kimuchi gets…all because of orgasm, yes, it’s all for orgasm gentlemen.”

 

Like the former first Lady Imelda, Kimuchi is Mr. President’s secret weapon in politics. People flocked to her like she is no royalty but a superstar. Her words were are so kind and full of wisdom and compassion. Her heart could bleed in pain upon seeing human sufferings due to poverty, ignorance, and lack of opportunities. For the sake of her people, she used her popularity and international connections to put up centers, hospitals, and institutions to develop the poor socially and economically and become a contributing unit of the society. Soon a popular foundation for the poor was established under her name, Kimuchi Foundation for the Crucified (KFC).

 

Her sense of justice and fairness remained unmatched. Even the few critics of the President at times can’t help but admire this woman. She herself asked the Mayor of the City of Manila to allow everyone to hold political and religious rallies in Mendiola. No policeman was there to stop them, not even the secret service people from ISAFP were allowed to monitor political figures joining the rallies. You can say whatever you want for as long as it is within the bounds of law. She even provided them with water and sun visors for their convenience. More open than not, political rallies praised the President; it became a venue to bring out issues and problems for him and his cabinet to resolve. The President listened and Kimuchi figured out solutions for the cabinet people to consider.

 

Politically and economically the Philippines had far advanced; from a struggling economy to a newly developed nation in Asia. Beggars are no longer found in the streets of Manila, squatters along the Pasig river banks had been given permanent and decent houses made out of recycled plastic materials. Criminality went down to 1 percent annually according to the Social Weather Station. People paid their taxes, businessmen obliged their peers to pay taxes on time. The billions of dollars of Philippines foreign debt had dramatically reduced to only 10% remaining balance.

 

But six years is too short for a good president. Kimuchi’s social legacy would soon vanish on earth when the new administration shall be installed in power. But what is important Japayukis, Filipina maids, Filipino migrant workers and professionals gained respect from the international community. Thanks to Kimuchi’s setting up a good example of a reformed and truly patriotic citizen.