Ang Mga Pagluha ni College Girl, Part 1
I know there was something wrong between my mom and my dad because they had not been talking to each other lately. Unlike the last time mom came home from her work abroad, when both were so sweet to each other like honeymooners, this time I don’t see that intimacy. It is so disturbing, it’s miles and miles away of ice between them. I could not even ask them why, mom brought us up to be fearful to her. Dad perhaps could tell me why but I did not even have the nerve to ask.
Mom left again to her work abroad without us and dad sending her to the airport. Tita Wilma hired a taxi to bring mommy to the airport. I wanted to cry when mom embraced and kissed us with my sister but I have to control myself for fear of being scolded. Mom wanted us to be iron hearted like her. I remember she did not even shed a single tear when grandma passed away. I learned later that mom had to be strong willed in order to survive. My grandpa left them when they were still small to live with his second family. .
Not very long dad also left us too. This time I could not control myself but cry. I asked him why he was leaving us but all he could tell me was endless silence. He embraced and kissed us as he slowly stood and picked up his things. He tried to hide his tears as he told us, I will be back. Yes, but when? I could not even ask him where he was going and how we could contact him. Tita Wilma told us there’s no use of it.
Because daddy told us he would be back, we kept his words waiting and hoping. We always prayed that someday he will come home to see us. My sister Christine cried on her birthday because dad never showed up; I too bitterly cried when nobody among my parents was present to witness my graduation in high school. It was Tita Wilma who pinned my medal being a class achiever. She broke down in tears and cried, out of pity or perhaps she saw herself in our situation.
We learned from her that over the years mom was absent at home, dad had a relationship with his secretary to whom he had a child. Mom learned about it the last time she came home and was enraged with dad’s infidelity. Mom had to ask dad to leave and never to bother us anymore. Knowing he sinned against God and my mom, dad left and never came back to see us again.
I personally accepted the fact that Dad is not coming back anymore, or worse we may never see him alive. We learned how to live tough just like our mom, but deep in our heart there is that longing for our dad. One Christmas time my sister whispered to me, “I wished dad and mom are here.” We looked at each other and cried. “Ate, when will daddy come home?” I just embrace her and wiped away her tears and mine. I wish I had an answer, but like dad all I could say was silence, a deafening silence.
But destiny has its own course, although sometime it can be playful and tricky to you. Who says that in the most unexpected place and time I could see my dad again? Yes I saw my dad in the hospital where I was having my clinical experience. He was rushing a child to the emergency. I was there on duty so I have to respond.
(Matutulog na po ako, to be continued)